No Easy Decisions

Haiti is often a place where difficult choices have to be made—choices between dozens of good options, and choices between dozens of bad options, sometimes in the course of a single day. John McHoul often calls Haiti the land of "unlimited impossibility".

We spent some time with Olez today (the Friday before Christmas). We first met her after the earthquake when she brought her granddaughter Rose into the field hospital (our first night there). Rose had been stepped on in the family tent…she was just a few weeks old (her mother had died in the earthquake) and made a quick recovery. But our relationship with Olez continued, mostly because a Canadian nurse, Lise, took an interest in this family and always sends gifts down there with us for them…so we have seen her every visit since that time.

Olez also has two handicapped children of her own, as well as Rose and Rose’s older brother, to care for. Recently she made the heart wrenching decision to give the grandkids up for adoption. She told us about this through tears. We were going to visit the kids at the orphange, to give them the gifts that Lise had sent with us. We invited her to come with us and see them and she said no, it would be too hard. Later she changed her mind and decided to go, crying before and after the visit. Her heart clearly broken. Her heart clearly doing the most painful thing to her, in order to do the most loving thing for these grandkids. Not an easy decision.

This is happening to a dear friend of ours sister:
http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/2011/08/imagine-if-you-will.html

We have cried a lot of tears with these people this week…and there is no quick fix to any of these situations. Please pray for Olez and “K” and those who love them and the "impossible" choices they are faced with.

Vulnerability

First…a bit of a disclaimer (from Sarah O). The midwife in me is coming out in this post and I will give you a warning that I am going to use a few body words. So consider yourself warned… :)

Yesterday I spent the whole day seeing newly pregnant ladies with Beth, doing physicals on each of them. Beth is a wonderful learner and soaks up information so as we did each visit, I threw in a few learning points about different things we saw. With one woman, Beth noticed that her cervix (the part if the uterus that dilates to let a baby through at birth) looked different than the others we had seen – the transformation zone was showing, which often happens in pregnant woman.

The transformation zone is the part of the cervix where the cells are changing…transforming…from one type of textured cell to a flatter cell. Pregnant women and teenagers tend to have this part of the cervix visible. The thing that is important about the transformation zone is that this spot where change is happening is a place that is extremely vulnerable to infection.

Change creates vulnerability.

Isn’t that the truth – it is when change happens that we are most vulnerable. Difficult changes like loss and exciting changes of growth put us in the same place of vulnerability.

Today we talked to 30 pregnant mamas about labor and preparation for the great changes that will happen for them. We reminded them that the midwives here will be with them and help them know what to do in labor. They will not be alone.

Tonight we have one of the teen moms visiting us. Her sister is very ill and took a turn for the worse this evening. As she wept and D prayed for her, we are grateful that she is not alone in this place of vulnerability. And as she cried, her little boy sat on the couch completely unaware bubbling with laughter. Sadness and joy – both in the same room.

For the darkness of hoping
In a world which longs for you,
For the wrestling and laboring of all creation
For wholeness and justice and freedom,
We praise you O God:
For the darkness and the light
Are both alike to you.

-Janet Morely

Breath

posted by Sarah O

This morning we woke to one of the maternity staff members knocking on the door saying she had a very sick baby downstairs. I dressed quickly and went down to see who was there and found a truly ill little 3-month-old girl. Her mama had brought her in yesterday with cold symptoms and a fever and we treated her with antibiotics. Sometime in the night things went downhill and she worsened…stopped eating, started breathing with more effort, fever rising. I am in no way a Peds person, and this was a sick baby. Without extra oxygen, her little body was not doing well staying oxygenated…for those of you who are medical, her pulse ox hung between 67-82%. With the oxygen support, her breathing eased a bit and she made it up into the high 90s.

I was reminded that breath is truly life.

As we loaded her up into the ambulance to transport her, we realized that none of us knew how to attach the particular regulator to the oxygen tank…and the ambulance siren wasn’t working. This was a baby who needed that oxygen and we needed the siren to get us through traffic and to the hospital quickly. It is in those moments of need that I so desire to have what it takes to meet the needs myself – instead we prayed…for someone to figure out the oxygen and for the siren to start working. In the next few moments, Winnie (a beautifully gifted Haitian nurse) connected the oxygen regulator and Dornbos worked her magic and got the siren to start.

Sometimes prayers are answered quickly…I wish they all worked that way! :)

So tonight we are praying for this little one who is in a local hospital with oxygen and IV antibiotics…praying that she is breathing easily and that her body will heal tonight. Praying that this wonderfully attentive mama will rest peacefully this evening…

Spirit of God,
You are the breath of creation,
The wind of change that blows through our lives,
Opening us up to new dreams and new hopes,
New life…

(Christopher Ellis)

Advent Prayer

(the view from the front door of our apartment here)


Come God
Come with the frightened
Come with the poor
Come with the children
Come with those who have always been your friends
Come and lead us where you are living
and show us what you want us to do.

A Child is Born

Witnessing Revia’s stretch marks and pain this evening, I thought of how stretching it is, for all of us, to carry God inside us. How it always pushes us beyond what we think we can bear.

I just wish that there was always something so beautiful and perfect that resulted from our labors.

Meet Revia’s little girl, 6lbs 13 oz of perfection, born at 11:18pm Dec 22nd. Welcome to our world little one.

Jedi pita (Thursday Later)

I read this prayer from O’s advent book: Bread for Tomorrow. It seems so apropos as we laborwatch with this first time mama tonight.

“God our hope and our desire,
we wait for your coming
as a woman longs for the birth,
the exile for her home,
the lover for the touch of his beloved,
and the humble poor for justice.”
-Janet Morley

Thursday

O & I worked at the prenatal clinic today. It was a beautiful and busy day.

Not only was there special food, gifts and a Christmas party to tend to, but many many pregnant women to vaccinate and do prenatal visits with.

Heartline does an amazing job of caring for women in the prenatal program—making sure they are taking prenatal vitamins, drinking water, and eating when they can.

It is very difficult for some of the moms-to-be to gain weight in pregnancy because they just don’t have access to enough food. That just isn’t right. And so Heartline provides them with a high protein meal when they come for prenatals each week.

In addition to all the checkups and fanfare, the tying off the extra digit of a newborn(!),---->

we also needed to vaccinate about 35 women against tetanus; and because there was so much to do, a Community Health Worker was born. We had the professionals deal with the pregnancy related stuff, and the tying off of the extra digit of a newborn in the program. And I took a break from making art with small children in order to learn to draw up injections and then stick needles in people’s arms. Yikes. I hate hurting people-even when the hurt is a good thing—which is one of 497 reasons I never pursued a medical career.

Beth, one of the midwives here at Hearline, graciously allowed me to practice on her arm (sorry Beth) and then I was off on my own! I have a way of finding myself in unexpected roles here in Haiti Every. Single. Time. :)

I tried to distract the women by talking with them and asking a lot of questions as I was puncturing their arms with attenuated Tetanus. As you can see, it was totally effective in distracting them from the pain.

And having had a professional tetanus vaccine myself, I remember it being one of the most painful I received in my litany of traveling-overseas-drug-cocktails’ over the years. So thanks to me, a lot of women are waking up this morning with achy shoulders and probably weren’t able to sleep last night. Merry Christmas!

One hilarious thing happened during the vaccination clinic, as I was ineffectively distracting Samide from her shot. I introduced myself as Sarah, and this tall thin lady in her 30’s with a round belly protruding from her white silk dress said, “Oh, like Madam Abraham” (Abraham’s wife). I said, “Yep, but I’m hoping I won’t be 100 before I have my first baby”. I don’t know if it was that response, or a reaction to the tetanus, but that lady laughed and laughed so hard when I responded that way, that I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s still laughing now.