Healing: Saturday 1.8.11

Antoinette & Eden Feb. '10

Hello friends- 

Antoinette at Heartline Healed party Jan. 11

It is hard to believe we are already in our final week here in Haiti. Sarah O said it well in her status a few days ago...it's so hard to live with your heart in two places.

Our teen moms have been full of drama! Our friend Tara Livesay will oversee the teen mom house and has been part of several interventions already. Community is hard. But I think it's harder with teenagers and babies.  (Tara is looking for programmatic info if any of you have any ideas/suggestions, even if it's stuff that has been done in the states.) The girls are mean to each other. They are survivors and have grown up in violent, harsh places. There will be many more meetings like this I am sure. But it's also so fun and encouraging to see them growing and learning and really trying to be good moms. Just looking at how much they (and their babies) have grown is awesome!

Djenie & 4lb Kenny, March '10

Thanks to those of you who have been praying for Djennie ("Jenny"). She came and left, quite dramatically, THREE times on Thursday. But she ended up staying the night and has been here ever since.  On Thursday night she told me she was "sorry". And I said "because of your bad behavior?" and with a shy smile and lowering her eyes, she said "Wi". I thought that was a HUGE breakthrough for her to apologize for something. It was a sweet moment and I hugged her and hugged her and told her I was so proud of her...that I know community is hard and I know apologizing is hard, and that I forgave her.

Thursday night as Djennie danced and sang at our "Heartline Healed" party (for EQ survivors that were part of Heartline's makeshift clinic) I was filled with hope. For her, and for all of us who are doing the best we can with the resources and skills we have--and still come up short.

A friend of ours describes Haiti as a picture of our soul without any makeup.  "People aren't any more sinful in Haiti than in the United States.  They just don't have any way of prettying up their sin here." It is so easy to see this in our teen mamas. And I feel like our teen moms are especially vulnerable, but also especially full of potential. In all the classes Beth stresses that the women in the class are more important than anyone else in Haiti...more important than the prezidant...because they will change Haiti by raising great children. It won't always be pretty, but it's really transformative.

Rosemond March, '10

Rosemond January '11

And speaking of the "Heartline Healed" party--wow. I haven't really had time to sit and process all that I was feeling that night. Looking around at people without limbs who never thought they would walk again, and seeing them walk through the gate...looking at babies who would've died because of their mothers crush injuries toddling around and smiling...seeing Rosemond coloring with his 'broken' hand and running and jumping after Mangos, well it was just lovely and beautiful...and miraculous! Seeing Antoinette (who was so painful and broken after the EQ, carry a load of charcoal on her head like it was nothing...walking on her fake leg as if it were real and her little guy Eden crawling after her and drooling all over the place, well, I lack the words, other than just to say, it's miraculous and it fills me with hope. And I am so SO blessed and privileged to be a small part of it all. (I've attached some 'before' and 'after' pictures for you here)!

Our friend Jonna, who has been so kind to let us stay in her apartment at the maternity center arrives home today. We will probably stay here with her but our little 'oasis' is no longer ours. It hasn't really been--we've been sharing it with Lizards and cockroaches and trantulas, but now we will share it with another human being! (Though you would be quite proud of Sarah O's lizard trap last night. For some reason she didn't want a lizard scurrying around the bedroom while she slept--crazy girl).

Friends of ours from CA, considering a potential partnership with Heartline arrive tomorrow. You can pray for them in their discernment process. Tomorrow we also take Rosemond home to his new house. He starts school on Monday, along with all my Kids Hope kiddos. I know the time will fly by.

Lastly, a friend of mine sent me a great quote and reminder about the 'ministry of presence'. It was so great I wanted to share it with you...by one of my favorite authors!

I'll sign off for now. Thanks for continuing to read and for your wonderful, heartfelt responses! We are so blessed!

Sarah D


“More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems.

My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them.”
– Henri Nouwen

Rosemond gained 50 lbs this year!

New Year: New Life posted 1.5.11

Hello friends-

Life has been super busy here in Haiti the last several days (and "super busy" might actually be an understatement).

O & Mirlande

We enjoyed a lovely New Years Eve reflecting on the ups and downs of the past year...and wow, has it been a crazy year.

Then on New Years' Day we had a mom stop by in labor around noon and she ended up delivering a sweet baby boy at 3:30pm. It was a wonderful daytime delivery with just me, Sarah O and Beth present.

Donald, baby #1, 2011

The next day we went to church with many of our friends who are in Haiti right now (Dr. Jen, Joanna Theile, the Livesays). It was really lovely. And we had a fabulous Independance Day celebratory meal (complete with the obligatory "Soup joumou"--Pumpkin Soup) with all the folks from the Hospital and Heartline. Around 8pm another mom stopped by our place in Labor so we stayed up all night laboring with her. No one was more surprised than me that I ended up catching that baby--who came so fast--under the guidance of Beth and Sarah O. It was a wild experience that I have yet to process, but the sweet little baby girl arrived safely around 12:30pm much to the delight of both her parents. And can I just say, wow, there is a lot of blood involved in birth. Woah.

Baby Heniana & "midwife" D

We were ready to go to bed early that night when about 8pm ANOTHER mom came by in labor. We had to call in some reinforcements to labor with her for a few hours so that we could get some sleep, and around 3:30 we were called down for the delivery of another healthy baby boy. I think they were all waiting until 2011. Every Haitian we have talked to expressed relief that 2010 is over with.

Ketia and baby boy

There is a saying in Haiti "Lespwa fe viv"--Hope brings life, but these births have shown us over and over that the opposite is true too...."Viv fe lespwa"--Life brings Hope.

These babies were all born to first time moms, with dads in the picture, and a sincere desire to care for their babies. They were very cooperative in labor and did everything we asked them to do. When I think of these precious babies being born in tents or on dirt floors, I am even more amazed at the work that Heartline is doing. Not only do these moms and babies have a safe and healthy place to deliver, but they get a years worth of classes (6 months prenatal, 6 months child development) but they are on the receiving end of so much love and care.

We helped in the child development class yesterday and got a good nights sleep. Today was a low key/recovery day for us and we just had the teen moms over for a film (complete with popcorn and sodas!). We watched "Elf" together with babies crawling all over the place! Watching a DVD on a laptop with a bunch of teenagers might not seem like that big of a deal to most of you reading this...however it was the talk of the town all day! The moms showered and got dressed up and were silly and giddy and so SO EXCITED for 'movie night'. When the movie ended they clapped and hugged us and tucked their babies into bed.

Life in post-earthquake Haiti has been a bit of an ego check for me. I miss the life we had in Haiti before the earthquake--I miss the routine and the simplicity of walking to Mama T's every day and working in the orphanage and getting to know the kids. I miss it, quite honestly, because I felt useful there. There were things I could "do". The needs were obvious. The needs are still obvious here at Heartline, but I don't feel as equipped to fill these needs. I feel like what I have to offer over and over again is my love and friendship--which is less quantifiable than say, feeding a room full of 30 babies. But the challenge for me has been to believe that it matters. It matters that these teenagers got to be teenagers tonight. It matters that 3 babies this week were welcomed to Haiti with love and care.

One of the teen moms, Jenny, has not been getting along with the others. If you're the praying type, please pray for her. She comes from absolute poverty and one of the most violent slums in the world. Her mom has 8 kids. She has no job, no way to provide for Kenny her almost one year old son. She also has very little skills for living in community. Today we were part of a conflict-resolution conversation with the teen moms (the first of its kind at the teen mom house--just imagine the show "16 and pregnant" taking place here in Haiti). Jenny was loud and dramatic. She carried a grudge all day, wouldn't talk to the other girls, and refused to participate in the film night. She said she is fine without Heartline and has threatened to leave--and she is free to do so....but there is so much possibility for growth and maturity for her (and for Kenny) here. It would be so sad to see her go...

Tomorrow we are preparing for the "Heartline Healed" party--for patients who were injured in the earthquake and spent time at Heartline during their recovery. They are all home, but we wanted to celebrate the healing that has happened in their lives over the year. It should be a blessed time! My camera battery died on day 4 so I haven't been able to take pictures and have been relying on others. I'd really like to get connected to my battery charger tomorrow so I can take some pictures (it arrived in the country today but is on the other side of the city right now...)

It is hard to believe that we just have a week to go before we head home....

We hope your New Year is off to a wonderful and blessed  (albeit a little less bloody) start-

Sarah D

Joy: Posted 12.30.10

Happy New Year’s Eve Eve from Haiti!

Bellymapping was a hit!

We have had a lovely day! It started out with a trip to our own personal Starbucks (French press and canned milk) and a quick review of “belly mapping” for our prenatal class today. Belly mapping involves palpating the baby’s position in the womb and then painting it on their belly so that they can see how their baby is positioned. Women in Haiti often don’t connect to the fact that they have a live baby in their belly until after it is born (it is even common for them to wait to name their baby until it has survived for a month). We used belly mapping as a way to connect them to their baby and remind them that what they do to take care of their baby matters.  There was a moment of great celebration when Rosena (whose baby was breech last week) shared with the women how she did her exercises and the baby turned! Rosena’s picture is attached here.

Sweet Roselore

This whole week has been full and fun! On Monday we took our new Australian friend, Rebecca to Mama T’s.  They still have several tents up on the property, but the rubble has been cleared for about 6 months. They are waiting on government approval of the architectural plans to move ahead with building a new orphanage on that site.  For now many of the kids are in a crowded guest house on the back of the property.  It’s discouraging to see the kids crammed into such a small space.

Sarah D was able to connect with Augustine—who has not grown an inch since we last saw her in June (her anti-retroviral medications keep her small—which helps with the illusion that time isn’t passing so fast!).  She is 7 and has two loose teeth! We were also surprised to learn that the children had been practicing for a play and were going to perform it that morning! Imagine the joy and delight at seeing small children outfitted with angel wings and crowns!!! It was a wonderful, joyful production of the Nativity story and we are incredibly grateful to have witnessed this beautiful production.

Augustine, my angel

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=255208&id=531504439&l=eda256d31f

Tuesday we taught the child development class and showed the documentary “Babies” to an interested group of mothers. We also spent the morning in Cite Soley where Sarah D got to meet the little girl that she sponsors…more to come on that later, except to say that she's quite possibly sponsoring the smartest, cutest most joyful little girl in all of Haiti! :)

Wednesday Rosemond came by for a visit and it was wonderful to see how much he has grown. We also spent time teaching him and the teen moms to play Uno.  Sarah O spent the afternoon with the Birthmom of her niece and nephew (who were evacuated from Haiti after the earthquake and adopted by O’s sister Jessica).  She was able to record a video message to her kids, that they will likely cherish forever. We also survived a raging fire in the lot across the street (when the neighbor decided to burn a year's worth of trash and accidentally caught his trees on fire). :) And we began our driving career on Wednesday and feel quite independent now.

All in all the time is going by much too quickly.  We are grateful to be here for another two weeks and will update when we can. Still no births but anticipating the arrival of four new little Haitians very soon.

We will spend tomorrow evening doing what we’ve done for years--Reviewing our journals from the year and reflecting on the ups and downs of 2010. (I can’t say that I’m sad to see it go… 2010, don’t let the door hit you on the way out…).  It’s been a full year and we’re grateful to be doing that in Haiti. Have a wonderful, safe, and happy New Year. Bon Ane 2011!

Sarah O and Sarah D

Johnny Angel

Jwaye Noel: 2.24.10

Hello friends near and far-

Jwaye Noel & Merry Christmas. I wanted to share a few thoughts, but this email ended up getting long and I don't have the time to edit. Pretend it's a blog and pour yourself some tea/hot coco/chocolate. :)

The last few days have been such a complete blessing. Being in Haiti always shifts my perspective in the best possible way. “Joy to the World” seems real and palpable here, yet it is so absurd because this joy happens in the midst of piles of rubble, with friends who may not eat today, or lost limbs in the earthquake, with children who are very malnourished, yet smiling. It is such a paradox. I also find myself so grateful for small things that I normally take for granted...hot showers, smooth roads, quiet...and the Haiti people continually school me in gratitude. I need this! And I  have so much to learn from them!

We have been busy working at the Heartline clinic (no moms in labor yet). My role is usually translator and baby-holder, and yet I've managed to sneak in several hundred Christmas crafts with the ladies and their children. (!)  Yesterday we made cut-out cookies with the teen moms and decorated them with colored frosting. They were SO proud, so serious, so much fun! None of them had ever done this before...the simple act of making Christmas cookies together. The babies napped and played on the ground (and probably ate a little frosting!) But there was something lovely about making memories with these girls who have such heavy burdens, and watching them get to be teenagers again! I will post pictures when I have time!

Last night we went to a candlelight Christmas eve service. For most of the service I held a little 9lb baby named Amir. His 16 year old mom was sitting on my right. (I have her permission to share her story). She was raped and almost died of preeclampsia. He was born by c-section after she was found seizing in the street (for more of the story on Mari Carmelle and Amir, and the other teen moms we are working with, check out www.teenmomhome.blogspot.com).

Something about holding him, feeling the flutter of his tiny heart against my chest and knowing their story, made the Christmas story come to life. I pictured Mary as a pregnant teenager, silly and shy like Mari Carmelle, alone and misunderstood...likely giving birth alone, since Joseph was not yet her husband. If I were God I'd have chosen a sensible, experienced mother in her 30's to parent my son...but God chose someone like Mari Carmelle.... I'll admit that I don't really “get” the Christmas story (or much of how God works most of the time!!!).

Mari Carmelle's cookies

But as we were sitting there I got to thinking about these candles we were holding—the light so fragile, the slightest miscalculated sigh could wipe out the flame or drip wax all over the fancy dresses around me. The candlelight was nothing compared to the fluorescent lights above us that could illuminate the whole room, and yet the candlelight was enough to make even the darkest places seem cozy.

Melody, a 3 year old Haitian girl was sitting on my left and desperately wanted to “help” hold my candle. I didn't really want myself or Amir to be dripped in wax, but I wasn't able to manage both so I let go and I let Melody hold that candle. Boy, did she take her job seriously and raised it up above her head as we sang “Silent Night” Her face shown with joy and pride at being entrusted with that candle (and we all left the church wax-free). But it was in that moment that it all clicked for me....the vulnerable little light, that shines in the darkness...the fragile flame, the tiny baby Amir...this crazy messed up fragile world that we live in. My heart too, swelled with gratitude and thanksgiving for what Christmas means....Emmanuel God with us.

Melody

Last night, as I was reading my advent book, I was reminded that it's only when we are weary and poor in spirit, that God can touch us with hope. But I hate being weary and poor. Oscar Romero once said, “It is only the poor and hungry, those who know they need someone to come on their behalf, who can celebrate Christmas”. Being in Haiti for Christmas the past several years has put me in touch with a different sort of Christmas. Haiti teaches me to let go, to trust, to live in the present, even when it is full of paradox.

The genealogy of Jesus reveals that God chooses to work with us as we are,--using our weaknesses, even more than our strengths, to fulfill the divine purpose. I really don't get this. Yet at tonight's vigil, in a world of hungry, broken people and buildings....a world as cold and cruel and unjust as it was at the time of Jesus' birth in a stable, we desire something better. And in desiring it, we come to believe that it is possible. We await its coming in hope....

My advent reading said, “Mary's Magnificat reminds us that what we most value, all that gives us status-power, pride, strength and wealth-can be a barrier to receiving what God has in store for us. If we have it all, or think we can buy it all, there will be no Christmas for us. If we are full of ourselves, there will be no room for God to enter our hearts at Christmas.” I know that there have been many years where I didn't have room or time to really think about Christmas. But Haiti helps me with that too.

This morning O and I went on a 5 mile run with Beth—out to the US Embassy and back-- and in most ways this is just another ordinary Saturday for Haitians. Very few have the means for dinner, let alone gifts/decorations. But the weather was cool and overcast and the run felt great. There was no tree, no presents, no busy-ness, no snow, no “power/wealth/barrier” and yet it FELT like Christmas.

After we arrived home we donned the Santa hat and distributed some very small gifts among the workers at Heartline and the teen moms who are living at the hospital. The joy was palpable...and contagious. Sherline, one of the workers, made everyone get quiet and gave a little heartfelt speech about how much she appreciated us coming for Christmas.  Then the ladies cooking next to her broke out in song and I couldn't help but start dancing! (The "Dance of Joy" happens even in Haiti). It's not that I'm not grateful for my life in the States, because wow, I totally am, but sometimes I think all our “stuff” keeps us away from the real meaning of Christmas, or from really being present to what we are experiencing in each moment. The noise and busy-ness of holidays in the States have kept me from seeing the hope that light shines in the darkness—not blaring away all the shadows, but flickering bravely against the dark...just enough so that we can see what is before us and know that we are not alone.

We're getting ready to host Christmas dinner for the teen moms and the Heartline staff, so I'm going to sign off for now. Thanks for reading these ramblings. Thanks for journeying with us in Haiti, where we are so privileged to spend the Holidays, thanks for loving us from afar!

Merry Merry Christmas to you and yours!!
with Joy and Gratitude and Hope-
Sarah D

Merry Christmas, love Eden/Santa

Nou La! (We're Here): 12.22.10

Dear friends-

Just a quick note from Haiti to say "nou la" (we're here!) The flights were uneventful and right on time. The city is bustling and feels quite normal...we saw no demonstrations of any kind and are so thrilled to be in one of our favorite places in the world for the holidays.

One of my favorite moments when we arrive at the airport is when Bebe (a deaf airport worker) spots Sarah O. With animated joy he leaps over suitcases and people and practically tackles her. This has been going on for years. Because he can't speak he makes all sorts of 'joyful noise' and it blesses my heart immensely. I always get the secondary "courtesy hug" from him after his joy at seeing O subsides! The spirit of welcome in that man is so lovely! Bebe helped us drag our suitcases to Beth, who was waiting for us in tears--so grateful that we were there. It is SO good to be back.

We went to the grocery store and saw some new buildings and houses that have gone up since we were here in June. Signs of improvement and order. I am hopeful! :) Rosemond (the 10 year old boy who was injured in the earthquake, whom we instantly fell in love with) and his grandmother left the hospital (after making it their home for 11 months) and moved into their own house yesterday. (Rosemonds parents were both killed in the earthquake). We will see him on Saturday. Heartline has hired his grandmother as a cook so we were able to spend some time with her today. Antoinette (our friend who lost her leg in the earthquake and delivered her son Eden by C-section on the USNS Comfort Ship) is still at the hospital. She is walking great on her prosthetic leg but having a lot of pain in her other leg which was badly fractured in multiple places. Eden is growing like a weed! And so are the babies of the teen moms. It was a full and very happy day.

Our friend Jonna has graciously offered us her apartment for the 3 weeks that we're here, so we've spent the evening organizing all the Christmas gifts we brought (including the Christmas turkey and ham in Sarah O's carry-on!) Tomorrow I'm hoping to run with Beth in the morning before we do prenatals, which will take most of the afternoon! I know the days will go by quickly. Thanks for your messages, thoughts and prayers! We are grateful for our friends on both sides of this hemisphere! :)

with a grateful heart,
Sarah D (for O and I)

Haiti Bound: written 12.20.10

Hello friends & family-

Sarah O and I are headed to Haiti soon! O is already in FL and I will fly out and meet her there tomorrow. Our flight into Haiti is Weds morning. We are eager to get there and get a better sense of what our work in post-earthquake Haiti looks like. We are unable to take teams at this time. Providence Guest House collapsed in the earthquake, and with it our ways of doing Haiti trips…so until we figure out a new rhythm, new place for teams to stay, new work to be involved in (the Sisters’ orphanage collapsed and the kids are still in tents so it is hard for the m to manage volunteers) and reliable transportation, it will be just the two of us.

O is filling in for one of Heartline’s midwives, so that midwife can go to the US and be with her family for the holidays. So we will be on call for births (O delivering, me translating and cleaning/dressing babies). We will living in an apartment at the Heartline birthcenter, and missing Gertrude (our usual host). Heartline is starting a program (that we really believe in) for teen moms, and so we’re hoping for some deliveries around Christmas to give us a better glimpse into the Christmas story. You can read more about the teen center here: http://teenmomhome.blogspot.com/

We are also eager to connect with many of our Haitian friends, and will send updates if/when we are able.

Some of you have heard about the election violence that shut down the Port-au-Prince airport last week. We are really hoping to be able to catch our flight in Miami on Weds am into Port-au-Prince. Once we get into the  

country we will be picked up by Beth McHoul from Heartline ministries (who has lived in Haiti for over 20 years). They will take great care of us, but we need the airport to be open. ;) If you’re the praying type, we’d welcome your prayers to that end (pray for peace, or pray for rain…if there’s one thing Haitians hate more than not having their votes count, it’s rain!).

O & I will return to the US after the anniversary of the earthquake (we fly back Jan 13^th). I know I speak for both of us, that we are filled with gratitude to have the time off, the means, and flexibility to be in Haiti for three whole weeks this year! J

I  wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year! We’ll be in touch…

Lives You Saved

Assiane & baby girl born safely February 13th, 2011 via C-Section


Djeuna developed severe preeclampsia and gave birth via C-Section 6 weeks early on February 17th, 2011



"Thank you!"