Vulnerability

First…a bit of a disclaimer (from Sarah O). The midwife in me is coming out in this post and I will give you a warning that I am going to use a few body words. So consider yourself warned… :)

Yesterday I spent the whole day seeing newly pregnant ladies with Beth, doing physicals on each of them. Beth is a wonderful learner and soaks up information so as we did each visit, I threw in a few learning points about different things we saw. With one woman, Beth noticed that her cervix (the part if the uterus that dilates to let a baby through at birth) looked different than the others we had seen – the transformation zone was showing, which often happens in pregnant woman.

The transformation zone is the part of the cervix where the cells are changing…transforming…from one type of textured cell to a flatter cell. Pregnant women and teenagers tend to have this part of the cervix visible. The thing that is important about the transformation zone is that this spot where change is happening is a place that is extremely vulnerable to infection.

Change creates vulnerability.

Isn’t that the truth – it is when change happens that we are most vulnerable. Difficult changes like loss and exciting changes of growth put us in the same place of vulnerability.

Today we talked to 30 pregnant mamas about labor and preparation for the great changes that will happen for them. We reminded them that the midwives here will be with them and help them know what to do in labor. They will not be alone.

Tonight we have one of the teen moms visiting us. Her sister is very ill and took a turn for the worse this evening. As she wept and D prayed for her, we are grateful that she is not alone in this place of vulnerability. And as she cried, her little boy sat on the couch completely unaware bubbling with laughter. Sadness and joy – both in the same room.

For the darkness of hoping
In a world which longs for you,
For the wrestling and laboring of all creation
For wholeness and justice and freedom,
We praise you O God:
For the darkness and the light
Are both alike to you.

-Janet Morely

Breath

posted by Sarah O

This morning we woke to one of the maternity staff members knocking on the door saying she had a very sick baby downstairs. I dressed quickly and went down to see who was there and found a truly ill little 3-month-old girl. Her mama had brought her in yesterday with cold symptoms and a fever and we treated her with antibiotics. Sometime in the night things went downhill and she worsened…stopped eating, started breathing with more effort, fever rising. I am in no way a Peds person, and this was a sick baby. Without extra oxygen, her little body was not doing well staying oxygenated…for those of you who are medical, her pulse ox hung between 67-82%. With the oxygen support, her breathing eased a bit and she made it up into the high 90s.

I was reminded that breath is truly life.

As we loaded her up into the ambulance to transport her, we realized that none of us knew how to attach the particular regulator to the oxygen tank…and the ambulance siren wasn’t working. This was a baby who needed that oxygen and we needed the siren to get us through traffic and to the hospital quickly. It is in those moments of need that I so desire to have what it takes to meet the needs myself – instead we prayed…for someone to figure out the oxygen and for the siren to start working. In the next few moments, Winnie (a beautifully gifted Haitian nurse) connected the oxygen regulator and Dornbos worked her magic and got the siren to start.

Sometimes prayers are answered quickly…I wish they all worked that way! :)

So tonight we are praying for this little one who is in a local hospital with oxygen and IV antibiotics…praying that she is breathing easily and that her body will heal tonight. Praying that this wonderfully attentive mama will rest peacefully this evening…

Spirit of God,
You are the breath of creation,
The wind of change that blows through our lives,
Opening us up to new dreams and new hopes,
New life…

(Christopher Ellis)

Advent Prayer

(the view from the front door of our apartment here)


Come God
Come with the frightened
Come with the poor
Come with the children
Come with those who have always been your friends
Come and lead us where you are living
and show us what you want us to do.

A Child is Born

Witnessing Revia’s stretch marks and pain this evening, I thought of how stretching it is, for all of us, to carry God inside us. How it always pushes us beyond what we think we can bear.

I just wish that there was always something so beautiful and perfect that resulted from our labors.

Meet Revia’s little girl, 6lbs 13 oz of perfection, born at 11:18pm Dec 22nd. Welcome to our world little one.

Jedi pita (Thursday Later)

I read this prayer from O’s advent book: Bread for Tomorrow. It seems so apropos as we laborwatch with this first time mama tonight.

“God our hope and our desire,
we wait for your coming
as a woman longs for the birth,
the exile for her home,
the lover for the touch of his beloved,
and the humble poor for justice.”
-Janet Morley

Thursday

O & I worked at the prenatal clinic today. It was a beautiful and busy day.

Not only was there special food, gifts and a Christmas party to tend to, but many many pregnant women to vaccinate and do prenatal visits with.

Heartline does an amazing job of caring for women in the prenatal program—making sure they are taking prenatal vitamins, drinking water, and eating when they can.

It is very difficult for some of the moms-to-be to gain weight in pregnancy because they just don’t have access to enough food. That just isn’t right. And so Heartline provides them with a high protein meal when they come for prenatals each week.

In addition to all the checkups and fanfare, the tying off the extra digit of a newborn(!),---->

we also needed to vaccinate about 35 women against tetanus; and because there was so much to do, a Community Health Worker was born. We had the professionals deal with the pregnancy related stuff, and the tying off of the extra digit of a newborn in the program. And I took a break from making art with small children in order to learn to draw up injections and then stick needles in people’s arms. Yikes. I hate hurting people-even when the hurt is a good thing—which is one of 497 reasons I never pursued a medical career.

Beth, one of the midwives here at Hearline, graciously allowed me to practice on her arm (sorry Beth) and then I was off on my own! I have a way of finding myself in unexpected roles here in Haiti Every. Single. Time. :)

I tried to distract the women by talking with them and asking a lot of questions as I was puncturing their arms with attenuated Tetanus. As you can see, it was totally effective in distracting them from the pain.

And having had a professional tetanus vaccine myself, I remember it being one of the most painful I received in my litany of traveling-overseas-drug-cocktails’ over the years. So thanks to me, a lot of women are waking up this morning with achy shoulders and probably weren’t able to sleep last night. Merry Christmas!

One hilarious thing happened during the vaccination clinic, as I was ineffectively distracting Samide from her shot. I introduced myself as Sarah, and this tall thin lady in her 30’s with a round belly protruding from her white silk dress said, “Oh, like Madam Abraham” (Abraham’s wife). I said, “Yep, but I’m hoping I won’t be 100 before I have my first baby”. I don’t know if it was that response, or a reaction to the tetanus, but that lady laughed and laughed so hard when I responded that way, that I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s still laughing now.

Nou la! (We're Here)

(Written Wednesday) We have arrived! Travel was great and we had some wonderful reunions with our dear friends here. It’s been easy to slip right into our life here in Port-au-Prince. I think it is a profound gift that we are able to live in both of these vastly different worlds, and as soon as we go from one to the other, it feels as though we have never left. It’s beautiful here--in the 70’s with a lovely breeze. More and more rubble has been cleared since our last trip. I feel hopeful and alive.

We have a mom in early labor, but are sending her home to rest until things pick up. We ran to the grocery store for a few things this afternoon and our friend who lives here said to us, “I’ve got Starbucks coffee if you’d rather have that than Haitian coffee”. We ran out of café Rebo (Haitian coffee) in CA about a month ago so I was eager to stock up on Haitian coffee. It seems like it is human nature that we always want what we don’t have…

Old Blog Post

Posted on Heather's blog earlier this year...wrestling with poverty in the US: . http://allthingshendrick.blogspot.com/2011/08/part-three-of-guest-post-by-sarah.html

Sometimes living between these two worlds feels like living on different planets, other days it feels like there are many similarities... (Heather is one of our friends at Heartline in Haiti). The work they do is amazing: http://heartlineministries.org/

Tomorrow we will be having a Christmas party and doing pedicures with the teen moms of Harbor House. We love love love these people and this program:

http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/2011/03/harbor-house-people-place.html

Grateful to be spending Christmas here again!

Headed "home" for the Holidays

In about 9 hours we will be on our way back to Haiti for the holidays! We can't wait to celebrate Christmas and ring in the new year with some of our favorite people on the planet. We'll be updating as we are able--thanks for checking in here!

You just never know...

My 36 year old cousin Laurel passed away just as our plane wheels touched down in Port-Au=Prince, after a battle with metastatic breast cancer. She died on 3.31.11. Later that day I got online to find that Rose, one of my lettuce customers also battling cancer, has been put on hospice care as well. That evening we welcomed a new life into the world. A sweet little boy whose mama had lost her only other baby. She sang him out, through her pain. The circle of life-death and birth repeated again. Being in Haiti reminds me how fragile things are...how it is a miracle that any of us survive. And yet gives me hope...

The day we arrived I got out of the car and first saw Djenie (one of the teen moms, with her son Kenny-always glued to her hip), she said “How are you? How is your family? Your mom?” etc—this is a typical Haitian greeting. Then she said something that surprised me “Thank you for sending me the book of photos” (I had put together a mac photo book of picture of Kenny's birth and first year of life). She did not say “when are you coming over” or “what did you bring me”, she said “Thank you”! In a world of poverty where having “not enough” creates issues with hording, fighting and a demand for 'things', this simple acknowledgment of thanks/gratitude spoke volumes to me about what is happening at the Harbor House. To read more about it or get involved, go here: http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/2011/03/harbor-house-people-place.html

It has been amazing and humbling and beautiful to see the growth that has happened in the lives of these girls in the 2+ months since we were last in Haiti. Not that there isn't drama—these are teens, with babies—but I can really see them growing, maturing, learning...and craziest of all, doing it together.

A few days ago I took a fairly involved art project over to the Harbor House. One where they had to share supplies and paint. I wasn't sure how it would go. I saw one fight coming and intervened early, and all was well. Every single one of them finished the project, while sharing supplies, smiling!! That may seem like a small thing to most of you, but to me, it was GWO (big)! They are learning to share, they are learning that there will be “enough” (they don't need to hoard things for the day there isn't enough) and my heart was encouraged. It's still a difficult road ahead for these girls, but I have so much hope for them!

My buddy Rosemond, who the students from Eagle Rock Elementary have been writing to, send me some “Grandma mail” today. He put some drawings in a special plastic box and sent them with his grandmother to work today (she works at the place where I am living). It just blessed my heart to see these carefully colored pictures, placed securely in this plastic box. I'm sending it home with his grandmother tomorrow with a note and some photos from December. I don't think I will see him on this trip, but I like that he's initiated a connection. It is humbling how loved I feel by the people of Haiti. They give generously of what they have. They make me want to be a more generous giver...

Today I pulled out some oranges from my farmers market for the workers to try. It was really sweet to see their reactions. Oranges in the US are much sweeter than oranges here—Cherline said “It's like candy”! :) Super cute. Then she pulled out the goat head that was boiling in the pot next to me. Not so cute. But even so, I like that we are learning about each others' food and sharing the sortof ordinary details of our lives.

Today we went to the embassy, the grocery store, and looked at various medical issues going on at the Harbor House. It was perhaps the most productive morning I've ever had in Haiti. Usually a trip to the embassy is a day in and of itself. We didn't get what we hoped for regarding the adoption of Sarah's niece and nephew but we did get the contact information for someone state-side who can help.

We then did an HIV test for a little boy...it was negative! And as we were finishing that up, a lady came to the gate in labor. She has 5 boys at home. A few hours later, a beautiful baby girl entered the world. There was much celebration and rejoicing! Then some famous photographer lady came by to take pictures of the mama and baby. An hour or so after that, the presidential election results were announced and the world around us erupted in cheering. Everyone in Haiti seems happy. And that makes me happy. If there's anyone in the world who deserve a night of happiness—it's the people of Haiti! I hope they can milk it for a full week of happiness!! And a couple of people I know and love share this birth day--with that tiny baby girl and with this new chapter in the life of Haiti. There is much to be celebrated tonight (And I like it when there is overlap between my worlds! :) )

After the birth and all the celebrating, we had a wonderful conversation with Cookie the midwife. She told us that there is no Creole word for “overwhelmed”. There is just no place to even acknowledge that sort of thing in this culture. It reminded me how language develops according to cultural norms/needs. I just found it interesting. We sent this new mama home to her husband and 5 boys, on a crazy election night. She was beaming and happy. I couldn't help but think, if I were in her shoes, I might be a little 'overwhelmed'!

I also went over to Harbor House to do a few more crafts tonight--we watched Tommy Walker's DVD "Heal our Land" and the girls kept asking if he was in Haiti. (It's a DVD of his time in Africa at various worship venues). It was really interesting to see their reactions and hear their questions. And they sang along whenever they could. We were also working on some stained glass butterflies and "Sparkle/Bling Runway" models as the DVD played and their babies toddled/crawled around...and the irony of all this was not lost on me.

I'm off for an early morning run tomorrow-and looking forward to it. Photos will have to wait for another day as they take about a bah-jillion hours to upload.

It's been another great day in Haiti. The time is going by too fast...and you just never know what a day will hold :)

Dimanch/Sunday: trauma to tinsel

Another great day in this wonderful place!

We were privileged today to attend a training here at Heartline for a trauma/grief group they will be running with the teens moms at Harbor House.

The Heartline folks were being trained by a group of experienced facilitators from Oregon, and we were able to join them for a day of learning. The fact that this was the one subject that was not well covered in our Spiritual Direction training program was not lost on me. God seems to provide things in interesting ways. The training was a full day,and while it was long, I feel so blessed to have learned from these facilitators and to have had a chance to get to know the Heartline folks in a different way.

We spent a bit of the evening with some pretty amazing missionary kiddos here, tied in some hair tinsel in order to bring our coveted California fashion to Haiti, and made a trip out to a nearby clinic for a reunion with Barbie...a brilliantly gifted PA who is working here in Haiti.

I am still reliving the beauty of the birth from the other day. I feel so thankful for the welcome we have been given here and the chance to have my love for midwifery and birth renewed. I love all birth, but something about birth in Haiti in a birth center with the woman surrounded by support and care is so fulfilling to my midwife heart. This mom - Franchette - was minutes away from birth and broke out into a song of "All I need is you Lord". Moments later a lovely little boy slid out into welcoming hands. I wish all births could be like this.:) Sometimes I just need a bit of a reminder that these kinds of births do still exist.

Tomorrow I am making a trip to the US Embassy to see if there is anything that can be done to help speed the adoption process for my niece and nephew. It is a long shot but would love your prayers that I might be able to find out something about the needed paperwork.

Thanks to all of you who so faithfully support the work happening here in Haiti. We are so blessed to be here.

Sarah O

<--The Harbor House girls

Another C-section funded 3/13/11

Assiane & Baby Girl born safely February 13th via C-Section -- funded by those of you who donated to our half-marathon raising money for c-sections. Thank you!

Nou la! We are there...

We are here in beautiful Haiti among the people and place we love. We flew through the night on Wednesday and arrived early Thursday morning on a calm flight to a beautiful sunny day in Port-au-Prince. We found Collins, our driver easily, and were greeted with lots of hugs and even some dancing from Cherline when we arrived at the women's center! :) It feels great to be 'home'...though we definitely miss Beth and Jonna (friends of ours who live here-but are in Oregon at a midwifery conference this week).

We jumped right into a full day of the Women's Program and prenatal classes. Cookie (another midwife who lives here) had us over for dinner that evening. Her friend, also named Sarah, is visiting and helping with births. We unpacked our stuff and slept soundly.

Friday we woke up early, helped with the Bible study and family planning clinic that Heartline offers free of charge. Franchette, one of the women from the prenatal program, came to the Birthcenter in early labor. There were more reunions: Antoinette & Eden, Olez & Rose, Agathe's girls (Gracie & Bernie), teen mom's Djenie and Ernege. We did the first of many crafts. It was a very full day, culminating in the birth of a healthy baby boy around 10pm. Sarah x3, Tara, Cookie and Winnie were in attendance, and Sadrack, the dad came in to give his wife an occasional pep-talk throughout the more difficult parts of labor. At the end of the night the mom 'sang him out'. It was quite lovely. We checked on her throughout the night and she left for home early this morning.

After finishing up some projects here, we went to the teen mom house and did an project with them today. It has been fun to see the growth that has happened over the last few months for the teen moms. They shared paint and art supplies and no major fights happened. Did you read that correctly? Yes, we said “No major fights happened”. This is major progress when we consider where they have come from and patterns that were in place when we first met many of them. This is what “thy kingdom come” looks like in a very tangible way.

Being here reminds us of the simple power of relationships to transform lives. Not only the lives of those on the receiving end. We love that God's kingdom is one where both parties are changed by relationship—that it is not one sided, passive giving-receiving. We are so SO blessed to be here—especially since so much was 'going south' in our lives in Los Angeles before we left. It is nice to have a true break from all of that.

There have been a discouraging series of events in the last few weeks at Heartline (the ministry we are now working with in post-earthquake Haiti) and so one of our hopes is just to be a source of encouragement for the families who live here full time. They are some amazing, courageous, lovely people. Our hearts hurt when theirs hurt. We are grateful to be able to do some practical/tangible things...and also to just “be” around them.

You can check out their blogs at:
(links don't seem to be working so there they are un-hyperlinked:)
http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/
http://allthingshendrick.blogspot.com
http://johnmchoul.wordpress.com

We've had power all afternoon and are stocked up in case of any funky stuff when the election results are announced tomorrow. But overall we are content to be just exactly where we are right now. In this busy, crazy world we know what a gift that is—and we receive it with our hands held open.
With gratitude-
O & D
!

Mangos

On Sunday our friend Beth-who lives in Haiti-posted on her facebook page, "On the way to PAP Fellowship today the teen moms kept talking aboutSarah Obermeyer and Sarah Dornbos and how they can't wait till you arrive! They are going to give you gifts of mangoes!"

It brought such joy to my heart--that our friends who have so very little are sharing what they have with us--plotting to gift us with mangos. What a great way to start a trip to Haiti! 

O and I with our gift of mangos over Christmas. 

Eden is not sharing his mangos! 

Some day I want to write a story about this woman-our dear friend Antoinette, and how she has taught me about generosity and gratitude...but that is for another day. Right now, I need to drive to the airport and get on that plane for this new adventure! :) 

Henri Nouwen Quote

"To minister, you have to be where the pain is... Where there is pain, there is healing. Where there is mourning, there is dancing. Where there is poverty, there is kingdom... We are sent to wherever there is poverty, loneliness, and suffering to have the courage to be with people. Trust that by throwing yourself into that place of pain you will find the joy of Jesus." -Henri Nouwen

"Ale La"/Go There

This was one of my favorite Creole Poets and one of my favorite poems—even before the earthquake.

“Ale la”: GO THERE

Go there where you see your heart
Leading you, keeping you from changing
into a dry desert of sorrow
worse than the skin of a drum.
Go there even when you’re discouraged
when you end up as salt meat
in banquets for bigwigs.
You have to go there, my brothers and sisters,
Where the people suffering
Never hear “Good Morning”
Where there’s no light
To enliven a day with hope.
Go there and bring the warmth of your love along
To make the people’s heart happy
To defy injustice and evil
Endured by the wretched of the earth
As if they had no right to be there,
There in the morning splendor of being alive.
You have to go there, live there, join us
If only with the little smiles of your mouths
O my sisters and brothers, we have to be there
Where together, without any dirty tricks,
We can grow corn, oranges and friendship
For all of us on earth so in need of transformation.

(By Totongi, editor of the important journal Tanbou/Tambour. He lives in the Boston area where he writes in Creole, French and English)

Is it Safe?

Posted: February 16, 2011 by johnmchoul 

I often receive e-mails from some that would like to come to Heartline to visit and help out.  We appreciate those that come with a purpose, they certainly make a difference.  Often, I will hear from someone or from a group who say that they would like to come and then they ask if it is safe.  I confess that I get rather irritated when I hear that question.

I usually reply back cordially and ask if God has called them to come to Haiti.  And if the answer is yes, then I tell them it is safe.  As safe as it was for Daniel in the lion’s den and for the three Hebrew men in the fiery furnace and even as safe as it was for Stephen when he was stoned and ultimately as safe as it was for Christ when He died on the cross.

I strongly believe that “safe” is overrated if it means will I be safe physically.  The better question is, “Is it God’s will for me to go?”  If the answer is, “Yes” then how much more safer can you be than in God’s will.  This may not mean that harm will not come your way but what is that compared to being in God’s will.  Was Jesus safe?

BUT I HAVE recently been spending some time thinking about Haiti and have finally concluded after 21 years of living here, that it can be a very dangerous place.  Some may be saying, “Ah it’s about time John got his head out of the sand and admitted that Haiti can be a dangerous place.”

Yes, those of us who live here can be in great, grave danger. We can be in danger of:

• Becoming numb to the cries of the poor.
• Not being moved to anger and compassion at the conditions in which many people live.
• Looking but not seeing.
• Hearing but not listening.
• Seeing what is but not what can be.
• Thinking that we need to change the Haitian culture to look like our culture and that the people aren’t doing it right because they don’t do it like we do.
• Thinking that living here is a sprint, when in reality, it’s a marathon.
• Being so practical about what we need to live that we limit God in what we do.
• Not totally depending on God for God’s work.
• Thinking that doing is more important than being.

Yes, it is true Haiti can be a dangerous place, perhaps as dangerous as where you live

Visiting a Sponsored Child in Cite Soleil

Written for Heartline Ministries: January, 2011

This morning I had the privilege of visiting Monica, the child I sponsor through Heartline’s program in Cite Soleil (the poorest slum in this hemisphere). 

There was a traffic jam on the way to City Soleil–which is not all that unusual for Haiti– but as we were stopped I watched a woman vomit in the back of a colorful tap-tap. In a moment the entire tap-tap was emptied and I could hear people outside the window surmise that she has “Kolera”. The empty tap-tap turned around, creating a road block of it’s own, and sped down the road looking for new customers. Just another day in Port-au-Prince. 

But it was not “just another day” for me or for Monica. We were excited to meet each other for the very first time. Moncia is 3 ½ and lives in Cite Soleil with her mom, grandma, uncle and baby sister. We parked our truck and wound our way through the narrow corridors of cement, tin and cardboard that make up the homes of Monica’s neighbors. 

I arrived just as Monica was putting on a special white dress for our visit. She was beautiful! At first, like most 3 ½ year olds, she was a little shy. So I suggested we go inside her house, where the growing crowd of neighbors and friends couldn’t see our every interaction. I had brought a little art project for us to do, so we sat on the floor in her one room house-- a pot of rice cooking slowly over charcoal in the corner-- while her mom nursed the baby on the twin bed that all five of them share. Monica’s grandma told me that she used to have her own house, but it fell in the earthquake so now she’s living with her daughter (Monica’s mom). 

Monica sat on the laundry bucket and leaned on my knee as we put brightly colored stickers onto a piece of paper, she was smiling with pride. She took out her school identity card to show me. (It is not uncommon for a child her age to attend school if the family has the resources to send them). I asked her about school and she shook her head “yes” and “no” in response to my questions, slowly warming up to this strange “blan” (white person) who had come to visit her. I gave her a photo of myself in the snow. She studied it, pointed at the snow and then clasped it to her chest. It was precious. 

But the moment that struck me the most- about the work that Heartline is doing- was when she laughed with delight. I had brought a few small gifts for the family. And it wasn’t the bed sheets or the new dress or the shiny hair clips that broke through her shyness…it was the socks. A simple pair of pink socks with lace around the edge. 

When Monica saw those, she threw her head back and laughed with delight! I wiped off her dirty little feet and put the socks on, and then a pair of dress shoes. There was no way she could hold in her joy! And it was in that moment that I glimpsed what the kingdom of heaven looks like!  

It wasn’t that this gift cost me a lot, or was all that special, but the fact that we were TOGETHER that made this moment happen. Heartline created the opportunity for my life and for Monica’s to intersect on an average Tuesday in Haiti. And I received a gift in that moment too. Monica’s gift to me -her laughter and her joy- didn’t cost much either. But she gave what she had, without holding back, and my heart swelled. When the time came for me to go, Monica gave me a gentle kiss on my cheek and a sweet little hug. 

As I wound my way back to the car, away from the fallen buildings and homes made from cardboard and tin, I wondered to myself if she had ever owned a pair of socks before? I wondered how something so small, so ‘average’ to an American child, could hold such delight for a child a few hundred miles from Florida. I wondered how my small donation every month would change the life of this sweet, intelligent child by allowing her to attend school. 

Jesus has a lot to say about his kingdom and about children, but in Matthew Chapter 18 vs. 5 he says “Whoever welcomes a little child in my name, welcomes me”. I’m quite certain that wasn’t just Monica’s smile that I encountered today, but the smile of Jesus. I could sense His presence with Monica and I in that moment, and His delight–which happens when the ‘rich’ and the ‘poor’ come together. Heartline bridges the gap between these two groups every day…and they allow us the great privilege of partnering with them in tangible ways. For me, the opportunity came from Heartline’s child sponsorship program…and the smile of a small girl, sitting on a laundry crate in her one room house, with her brand new-never-before-worn-by-anyone-else ruffled socks.

Sarah Dornbos

New Blog??

Posted by Sarah D

2010 and 2011 have represented many changes in our journey with Haiti. We have decided to move all of our Haiti posts to one spot--rather than filling your email inboxes with multiple messages and photos. So this is our attempt to bring you up to speed! :) We've included email posts as well as our old blog (running for Heartline c-sections) in this place and hope to be able to update more regularly with thoughts and stories from our favorite place in the western hemisphere. Thanks for reading.  

Headed "home" 1.13.11

Hello all...

I (Sarah O) am writing this update on the plan from PAP to Ft. Lauderdale – thankful for an amazing time in Haiti and sad to be leaving a place that is so deeply a part of my (and D’s) heart.

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the earthquake and it was a day filled with grief and hope, loss and restoration.  In the morning, we went over to the teen mom home (now called Harbor House) and spent a hour with the women, having an impromptu church service. We sang, clapped and read scripture.   Then the women each stood and told the story of the earthquake and as they put it “what God has done for you since”.  Hearing their stories of being trapped for days, bugs biting them, seeing the death and pain of others with them – all of that was desperately sad.   But then,…they spoke of hope and what God had done in them since.  They talked about Papi John and Mami Beth (the McHouls who run Heartline)  and Dokte Jen (the Doctor who ran the Heartline Field Hospital) and they way they had been loved and held and cared for.  Then, they worshiped more. It was an honor to be included in this moment of raw remembrance.

Last night we were a part of the worship and prayer time with the Heartline community where all the missionaries gathered.  There were many tears, and a sense of all God has done in this past year.  After the service together, we joined for a meal and were a part of conversations that reminded us why we are so blessed to be a part of this ministry.

We tried to say good-bye to the teen mom’s last night but they would have no part of that.  Instead, they all work up early this morning, dressed and fed their babies and then jumped in the back of the truck to escort us to the airport.  I have never had such a send-off, and it has never felt so much like leaving dear friends.

Thank you for caring about us, for supporting us in so many easy.  Your love was felt by us and by a whole lot of Haitians!

We are grateful to be surrounded by people who have not forgotten Haiti.
Sarah O (and Sarah D)

Healing: Saturday 1.8.11

Antoinette & Eden Feb. '10

Hello friends- 

Antoinette at Heartline Healed party Jan. 11

It is hard to believe we are already in our final week here in Haiti. Sarah O said it well in her status a few days ago...it's so hard to live with your heart in two places.

Our teen moms have been full of drama! Our friend Tara Livesay will oversee the teen mom house and has been part of several interventions already. Community is hard. But I think it's harder with teenagers and babies.  (Tara is looking for programmatic info if any of you have any ideas/suggestions, even if it's stuff that has been done in the states.) The girls are mean to each other. They are survivors and have grown up in violent, harsh places. There will be many more meetings like this I am sure. But it's also so fun and encouraging to see them growing and learning and really trying to be good moms. Just looking at how much they (and their babies) have grown is awesome!

Djenie & 4lb Kenny, March '10

Thanks to those of you who have been praying for Djennie ("Jenny"). She came and left, quite dramatically, THREE times on Thursday. But she ended up staying the night and has been here ever since.  On Thursday night she told me she was "sorry". And I said "because of your bad behavior?" and with a shy smile and lowering her eyes, she said "Wi". I thought that was a HUGE breakthrough for her to apologize for something. It was a sweet moment and I hugged her and hugged her and told her I was so proud of her...that I know community is hard and I know apologizing is hard, and that I forgave her.

Thursday night as Djennie danced and sang at our "Heartline Healed" party (for EQ survivors that were part of Heartline's makeshift clinic) I was filled with hope. For her, and for all of us who are doing the best we can with the resources and skills we have--and still come up short.

A friend of ours describes Haiti as a picture of our soul without any makeup.  "People aren't any more sinful in Haiti than in the United States.  They just don't have any way of prettying up their sin here." It is so easy to see this in our teen mamas. And I feel like our teen moms are especially vulnerable, but also especially full of potential. In all the classes Beth stresses that the women in the class are more important than anyone else in Haiti...more important than the prezidant...because they will change Haiti by raising great children. It won't always be pretty, but it's really transformative.

Rosemond March, '10

Rosemond January '11

And speaking of the "Heartline Healed" party--wow. I haven't really had time to sit and process all that I was feeling that night. Looking around at people without limbs who never thought they would walk again, and seeing them walk through the gate...looking at babies who would've died because of their mothers crush injuries toddling around and smiling...seeing Rosemond coloring with his 'broken' hand and running and jumping after Mangos, well it was just lovely and beautiful...and miraculous! Seeing Antoinette (who was so painful and broken after the EQ, carry a load of charcoal on her head like it was nothing...walking on her fake leg as if it were real and her little guy Eden crawling after her and drooling all over the place, well, I lack the words, other than just to say, it's miraculous and it fills me with hope. And I am so SO blessed and privileged to be a small part of it all. (I've attached some 'before' and 'after' pictures for you here)!

Our friend Jonna, who has been so kind to let us stay in her apartment at the maternity center arrives home today. We will probably stay here with her but our little 'oasis' is no longer ours. It hasn't really been--we've been sharing it with Lizards and cockroaches and trantulas, but now we will share it with another human being! (Though you would be quite proud of Sarah O's lizard trap last night. For some reason she didn't want a lizard scurrying around the bedroom while she slept--crazy girl).

Friends of ours from CA, considering a potential partnership with Heartline arrive tomorrow. You can pray for them in their discernment process. Tomorrow we also take Rosemond home to his new house. He starts school on Monday, along with all my Kids Hope kiddos. I know the time will fly by.

Lastly, a friend of mine sent me a great quote and reminder about the 'ministry of presence'. It was so great I wanted to share it with you...by one of my favorite authors!

I'll sign off for now. Thanks for continuing to read and for your wonderful, heartfelt responses! We are so blessed!

Sarah D


“More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems.

My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them.”
– Henri Nouwen

Rosemond gained 50 lbs this year!

New Year: New Life posted 1.5.11

Hello friends-

Life has been super busy here in Haiti the last several days (and "super busy" might actually be an understatement).

O & Mirlande

We enjoyed a lovely New Years Eve reflecting on the ups and downs of the past year...and wow, has it been a crazy year.

Then on New Years' Day we had a mom stop by in labor around noon and she ended up delivering a sweet baby boy at 3:30pm. It was a wonderful daytime delivery with just me, Sarah O and Beth present.

Donald, baby #1, 2011

The next day we went to church with many of our friends who are in Haiti right now (Dr. Jen, Joanna Theile, the Livesays). It was really lovely. And we had a fabulous Independance Day celebratory meal (complete with the obligatory "Soup joumou"--Pumpkin Soup) with all the folks from the Hospital and Heartline. Around 8pm another mom stopped by our place in Labor so we stayed up all night laboring with her. No one was more surprised than me that I ended up catching that baby--who came so fast--under the guidance of Beth and Sarah O. It was a wild experience that I have yet to process, but the sweet little baby girl arrived safely around 12:30pm much to the delight of both her parents. And can I just say, wow, there is a lot of blood involved in birth. Woah.

Baby Heniana & "midwife" D

We were ready to go to bed early that night when about 8pm ANOTHER mom came by in labor. We had to call in some reinforcements to labor with her for a few hours so that we could get some sleep, and around 3:30 we were called down for the delivery of another healthy baby boy. I think they were all waiting until 2011. Every Haitian we have talked to expressed relief that 2010 is over with.

Ketia and baby boy

There is a saying in Haiti "Lespwa fe viv"--Hope brings life, but these births have shown us over and over that the opposite is true too...."Viv fe lespwa"--Life brings Hope.

These babies were all born to first time moms, with dads in the picture, and a sincere desire to care for their babies. They were very cooperative in labor and did everything we asked them to do. When I think of these precious babies being born in tents or on dirt floors, I am even more amazed at the work that Heartline is doing. Not only do these moms and babies have a safe and healthy place to deliver, but they get a years worth of classes (6 months prenatal, 6 months child development) but they are on the receiving end of so much love and care.

We helped in the child development class yesterday and got a good nights sleep. Today was a low key/recovery day for us and we just had the teen moms over for a film (complete with popcorn and sodas!). We watched "Elf" together with babies crawling all over the place! Watching a DVD on a laptop with a bunch of teenagers might not seem like that big of a deal to most of you reading this...however it was the talk of the town all day! The moms showered and got dressed up and were silly and giddy and so SO EXCITED for 'movie night'. When the movie ended they clapped and hugged us and tucked their babies into bed.

Life in post-earthquake Haiti has been a bit of an ego check for me. I miss the life we had in Haiti before the earthquake--I miss the routine and the simplicity of walking to Mama T's every day and working in the orphanage and getting to know the kids. I miss it, quite honestly, because I felt useful there. There were things I could "do". The needs were obvious. The needs are still obvious here at Heartline, but I don't feel as equipped to fill these needs. I feel like what I have to offer over and over again is my love and friendship--which is less quantifiable than say, feeding a room full of 30 babies. But the challenge for me has been to believe that it matters. It matters that these teenagers got to be teenagers tonight. It matters that 3 babies this week were welcomed to Haiti with love and care.

One of the teen moms, Jenny, has not been getting along with the others. If you're the praying type, please pray for her. She comes from absolute poverty and one of the most violent slums in the world. Her mom has 8 kids. She has no job, no way to provide for Kenny her almost one year old son. She also has very little skills for living in community. Today we were part of a conflict-resolution conversation with the teen moms (the first of its kind at the teen mom house--just imagine the show "16 and pregnant" taking place here in Haiti). Jenny was loud and dramatic. She carried a grudge all day, wouldn't talk to the other girls, and refused to participate in the film night. She said she is fine without Heartline and has threatened to leave--and she is free to do so....but there is so much possibility for growth and maturity for her (and for Kenny) here. It would be so sad to see her go...

Tomorrow we are preparing for the "Heartline Healed" party--for patients who were injured in the earthquake and spent time at Heartline during their recovery. They are all home, but we wanted to celebrate the healing that has happened in their lives over the year. It should be a blessed time! My camera battery died on day 4 so I haven't been able to take pictures and have been relying on others. I'd really like to get connected to my battery charger tomorrow so I can take some pictures (it arrived in the country today but is on the other side of the city right now...)

It is hard to believe that we just have a week to go before we head home....

We hope your New Year is off to a wonderful and blessed  (albeit a little less bloody) start-

Sarah D